I'm Not the Nanny
Everyone has those stories they like to throw out when they're trying to seem interesting and entertain. If you have some really good friends, they've probably heard you tell them multiple times. Luckily for me, I can share this one because I only have like 2 friends, so I'm basically unlimited in terms of a fresh audience. This story does deserve a little bit of backstory, but I swear it won't be too much.
For those who don't know, I'm adopted. That'll probably be a different post in terms of where I was shipped from, and what the "made in__" label stamped to the bottom of my foot says. All you need to know at the moment is that my adopted family is white, and I am not. When I say white, I don't mean bougie suburban white, and I don't mean trailer trash white either. My family is matching Old Navy American flag 4th of July from '06 white. Honestly, that's the best descriptor I could give, and I guarantee you know exactly what it is I'm talking about.
My family has this weird thing for family vacations and trips. I personally don't think we should be all up in each other's business as much as we are-but that's what it is. A few years ago, I was on a family vacation in San Diego, and we went to Sea World. Now, it wasn't that much of anything new because Sea World is only about 2 hours away from where we live. I would like to point out, however, that ANY place with a ton of people in Southern California in early August isn't the most appealing place to be. Throw in my extremely "let me speak to your manager" grandmother; stereotypical gluten-free aunt with her ten year old; my two older cousins-one who had a child and looked like vanilla ice; their very Oklahoma mother; and my mother...well there were good and bad times. I digress. In this situation, there are good and bad things about being adopted.
One of the good things, is I can pretend I have no idea who they are when they start acting like jackasses. Seriously, it's great-not that I don't love them. I probably sound ungrateful, but I think we can all agree that when our families are embarrassing us in public, we want nothing more than to pull a Homer Simpson and silently fade into some bushes.
We're walking through the park, dodging a sea of people. For some reason no matter which side of the pavement you walk, or what direction, at places like Sea World you always feel like you're battling to get upstream. My vanilla ice looking cousin has a daughter, she was probably five or six at the time. If I'm being completely honest, I don't remember their ages. I can't really be blamed though-my memory is overall a tragedy in itself. If someone asked me what I was doing this time last week I would have no idea. As we're walking, my cousin's daughter asks if I could carry her. She was a little too old for that, but it had been a long day, so I didn't see a real big problem with it. As we walk from one end of the park to another towards where we wanted to sit down and eat dinner, we pass a sweet looking group of elderly women. As we pass them, I see their eyes shift to my family. This happens a lot in general when we go out. How can you not at least glance at a group of heavier set white people, a guy who looks like Kevin Federline's less cool friend, two kids, and an Asian. I wasn't really bothered by it.
I'm walking along, minding my own business(aka silently judging people and their outfit choices) when one of the old ladies turns to her friends and goes, "How sweet of that family to bring their nanny on vacation with them."
I shit you not I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cause a scene. Not one other person in my family heard this, so thankfully nobody else caused a scene. Part of me found it hilarious. Part of me was 50 shades of offended. Chalk it up to old white ladies to be both entertaining and offensive. This is the moral of the story: if you're gonna close minded...dont...OR, be old, because then it's okay.